Back in Time: What I Wore

Stephen Hawking has been the center of quite a bit of controversy recently. It was revealed last week that in his new book, The Grand Design, Hawking states unequivocally that there was no need for a "God" for the universe to have been created (click here for one of many articles on the subject).

Yikes.

Unfortunately everyone has gotten themselves into such a tizzy over that issue, that they've essentially ignored what I think is the absolutely coolest revelation in Hawking's new book: time travel might actually be possible.

Say what?

I know, right? Click here for the story.

Personally I am absolutely fascinated by time travel. I've spent many hours attempting to explain to Husband the two theories of time travel using Back to the Future and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure as examples. Sadly, Husband refuses to engage in any scientific discussions that involve the use of air guitars.

This is his loss.

Basically it all comes down to the question of whether you can change the past. In Back to the Future, you can and any small event could unknowingly lead to the timeline skewed into this tangent, where everything is evil and corrupt, and Biff is married to your mother.

Whereas in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, everything that is "changed" in the past is already taken into account in the present in which the characters live. So when Ted decides to steal his father's keys after the big presentation so he can help the historical figures escape from jail, the keys are instantaneously where he plans to place them because the space-time continuum takes into account that he's going to use the phone booth to do it later.

It all boils down to a question of free will. In Back to the Future time travel, you've got it in droves. Every decision you make has the potential to affect the universe in a way you've never even considered. In Bill & Ted's time travel, you don't have free will. If you do something, it's because you already did it and if you don't do it, it's because you already didn't.

Got it?

If I could go back in time, I think I'd go to Berlin, Germany September 13, 2010.

Why?

Look at what Roger snuck out of the house wearing to a We Will Rock You press conference.

I first saw this picture from the side and thought, "Oh no, is that a double-breasted jacket?"

Even Husband can tell you that double-breasted jackets are a fashion no-no. Several years ago, Husband inherited a few suits from his father, all of which were double-breasted. All of them were promptly sent to Goodwill.

But then I saw a photo from the front and noticed that the freakin' jacket doesn't even fit! I'd bet my bottom dollar that RT couldn't get that top button to close if he worked on it all day.

RT, seriously, what are you doing?

There's no way this jacket isn't at least fifteen years old: it's out of style and ill-fitting. I know for a fact that RT never cleans out his closet. In the Greatest Video Hits, Volume II audio commentary (recorded in 2003), he reveals that he still owns a hideous bright green jacket that he wore in the music videos for Don't Stop Me Now (1978) and Radio Ga Ga (1984). And we all know about his love for his purple velvet blazer (which I should at least be thankful he didn't bust out that old dinosaur again although at least that jacket fits!)

In Bill & Ted's world, I already failed my mission because RT wore this monstrosity out in public. In Back to the Future terms, I've still got a chance. I'll report back on my progress.

Or will I? If I succeed, the space time continuum will split off into a universe where RT wore something decent to the press conference and none of you even remember that all this happened.

Now my head hurts!

Today I'm playing a client at a training for new attorneys. I had a hard time figuring out what to wear (because I'm a client going to court for a criminal case, but I'm also supposed to be 17). I ended up doing a little time traveling of my own and channeling Laura Petrie from The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Blouse, Banana Republic

Pants, Banana Republic

Calvin Klein Lillian Flats (available here)

Necklace, Kohls

Earrings, Kohls

Can't you totally see Mary Tyler Moore running around town in this little ensemble? I think it's the untucked shirt that really seals the deal: I never untuck my shirts, but today tucking it in seemed so formal and unnecessary. I wasn't sure if I needed a cardigan or not, but I'm happy with the way the look turned out.

RT, you should learn something here: take a picture of yourself before you leave the house, especially if you are going somewhere where you might be photographed. Oh and make sure your clothes fit properly before you wear them outside of the house. And clean out your freakin' closet!

I swear, if I catch you in one more item of clothing purchased before 2000, you are going to get it. I'm serious.

To the rest of you: Happy Tuesday!